It has now been raining in England for approximately 690 days and it is pretty safe to say that we’re all rained out with umbrella umbrage, anorak animosity and hood hatred.
However, I do like to put a positive spin on things so I’ve decided to compile a list of reasons to relish the rainfall.
1) See how dapper my car looks. Sparkling and shiny as if someone has shown her some affection and taken the time to wash her. The bonus being that I didn’t have to pay five pounds to a man with a portable carwash trolley in a supermarket car park or be caused anxiety wondering if portable carwash man has the correct immigration papers, considering the only phrase he seems to know is “‘Clean car. Five pounds. No window mirror. Window mirror ten pounds.”
2) I have an excuse for my hair:
“That’s an interesting hairstyle that you’re sporting today, Jo”
“Oh yes, nothing to do with me. I got caught in the rain [Blatant lie]”
“Ah, that explains it”
3) Something to talk about. The English love nothing better than a good old rant about the weather and a continued stretch of rain is the jackpot of the small talk world:
“I can’t believe that it’s still raining”
“I know. Isn’t it awful? And I bet they’ll still issue a hosepipe ban in the summer”
Ding, ding, ding, ding: You have won first prize in the idle chit chat competition.
4) Puddles + wellies + splashes = smiles.
What’s not to love?
Actually, what is even better is when your autocorrect changes wellies to willies but you manage to notice at the last minute narrowly avoiding inadvertently changing the whole context of your post.
5) When there is the prospect of a short sharp shower, it provides the perfect excuse for being inside. Inside contains things like cushions, cake and telly and you can participate in activities such as sitting, lying and sleeping. Outside has concrete, dog poo and traffic wardens. Such horrible things that can be avoided with just a few raindrops.
So, I’m going to grab my umbrella, put on my anorak, put up my hood and pull on my wellies. Bring on day 691.
Disclaimer: I feel it’s important to say that I like to write cheerful, frivolous articles to make people smile and I am not for one moment trying to downplay the flooding that has affected so many people. Thanks.