The telly broke and we had to talk


A terrible tragedy occurred this week. The television in my bedroom blew up. Okay, it didn’t actually blow up, it was more of a slow deterioration. Over the past few weeks it would be broadcasting quite happily before suddenly shouting out loudly and showing a picture that can only be described as “untuned black and white telly circa 1979”. Telly would lose any capacity to do anything, causing Brad or I to have to jump out of bed and sprint to the power socket to prevent the hideous noise from waking up the entire road.

Telly had been having these little tantrums every so often but as they were quite infrequent, we ignored them, hoping that it was a temporary problem that would resolve itself. Sadly it was not to be and telly passed away with a bang, leaving us with an extended version of its disturbing distress call ringing in our ears.

After the noise had subsided, Brad and I were a little bewildered. We just looked at each other, open mouthed, wondering what we were going to do next.

“We’ve got no telly, it’s gone. What happens now?”
“I don’t know, er, we could put the radio on?”
“It’s not the same”
“We could talk”
“What about?”
“Our favourite tv shows?”
“Too raw, how can we do that when telly isn’t even cold?”
“I’m sorry. You’re right”


“So, er, good day at work?”
“It was just work. You?”
“Same as.”


“You know New Orleans?”
“Is there an Old Orleans?”
“I don’t know. I suppose so. Why would it be new otherwise?”
“Shall I google it?”
“If you want”
“Can’t be bothered”


“If you could only eat one food for breakfast, lunch and dinner without it affecting your health or your weight, what would you eat?”
“Ahh, tough one. I need to think about it.”
“I’d have cake. Or maybe cheese. No, definitely cake.”
“I’d go for a burger. You could just adapt it for each meal. Have something sweet with it for breakfast.”
“Like jam?”
“Er, no.”
“Ooh, you could have a doughnut burger with jam in the middle”
“Or a pain au chocolat burger with chocolate in the middle?”
“Yuck. No”


“Do you think that the cat gets lonely when we’re at work, like dogs do?”
“No. She’s a cat”
“Yeah but she always seems so pleased to see us”
“That’s because you feed her.”


And that’s why yesterday I bought a new telly.


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